♞ Mindset ♞

  • How To Heal Your Worthiness Wound

    And how do you know if you have one?

    The worthiness wound shows up as chronic, pervasive self-doubt that occasionally slips into full-blown despair. It manifests in your internal experience as tight and heavy expectations, which are hard to please and guaranteed to rob you of joy. Life may feel like enough one moment but nowhere near it the next.

    Therefore, the worthiness wound can lead to an agonising sense of unfulfillment. It’s hard to fill a wound we don’t know is there, so some symptoms of your worthiness wound might be:

    • ★  A tendency to slip into grey cloud thinking and dark emotions
    • ★  People pleasing, fawning behaviour, making excuses for others
    • ★  Underpricing and a feeling of desperation in business
    • ★  Masking with indulgent behaviours – overeating, overspending, appearance obsession
    • ★  Playing it safe and not taking risks, including underachieving
    • ★  Being triggered easily and often, obsessing and catastrophising
    • ★  Hiding and staying guarded behind ambiguity or a certain identity

    The worst thing is… the world will reflect back to you your worthiness wound. You will be overlooked for opportunities, forgotten in the marketplace and under-prioritised in personal relationships because the world always reflects back to us what we need to notice within. Until we notice the worthiness wound we have, red flags will pop up everywhere to tell us that we still have work to do.

    We can only survive so long blaming external events until we start to see the link between them all. Our relationship with ourselves is the foundational relationship for everything else that happens in our life.

    External success is great for masking the worthiness wound and that’s why we like it so much, however, it’s not a cure.

    No amount of wins or amazing manifestations will seal the worthiness wound, even though they’re distracting for a while. Changing circumstances are temporary, whereas the wound is not; until it’s healed.

    Tune in to your heart centre or wherever else the pain is coming from and set the intention of “I love myself. I love myself. I love myself.” Send those words energetically to the wound, over and over again.

    I love myself. I love myself. I love myself.

    It may release something – which might come out as a yawn or involuntary body movement of some kind. Keep doing this practice over and over and over again. Repeat it every day. Spend 3 minutes every morning tuning in to your worthiness wound and sending it the words “I love myself. I love myself. I love myself.” Seeing them soak into it, reducing it in size.

    What you will feel is that you become more and more comfortable. Your vibration starts to lift. The wound starts to heal and close. You love yourself more. Your mood lifts higher. You can see all the reasons why you should love yourself.

    You know that other people should love you. You will not allow yourself to be rejected. You know you can never be abandoned.

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    When you’re struggling to get clarity because of something you’re holding on to, letting go can be easier said than done. In this free guided meditation, you will cut your cords to release the past and move forward. 

    If you’re a coach or healer, or you know someone in your personal life who needs help with this, you might be wondering: how do you heal the worthiness wound in someone else?

    We are the key to healing in our own lives. Even when working with a therapist, for example, it’s our permission for them to help us which starts the healing process. The healing wouldn’t begin with someone who wasn’t asking for – or open to receiving – the help.

    This means that if someone isn’t looking for help to heal their worthiness wound, it probably won’t work. You cannot make someone heal and you cannot make someone change if they don’t want to. You cannot make them into who you want them to be.

    However, assuming that someone has invited in your assistance with this, the most obvious thing is to be their cheerleader – but by far the most important thing is the way they speak to themselves. Implementing self love practices such as getting them to repeatedly write or say out loud “I love myself. I love myself. I love myself.” will start to make them see differently…

    We listen to our own words more than anyone else’s. It’s our own words which have the most power over us.

    Another powerful method is to live as an example. Don’t underrate this one! It can seem like it’s the easiest, but sometimes leaving someone alone is the hardest thing to do when you know they need help. This way is the least invasive and sometimes the most effective.

    Come at it from the point of view of: “I hope how much I love myself inspires other people to love themselves more.”

    Demonstrating the strength that self love can bring will prove to others what can happen when they heal the worthiness wound. If you haven’t guessed it already, self love is the antidote to the worthiness wound.

    In a coaching scenario, creating a warm and safe environment for someone to express how they really feel is the perfect place to start. We often don’t even realise that we have a worthiness wound, so identifying the symptoms that I listed at the beginning and pointing out what they could be stemming from can be illuminating enough to activate a shift in consciousness. When we’re aware of something, we respond differently, so we can start to make changes.

    Seeing all the ways that worthiness issues underline our experiences can create a link that releases resistance and allows answers to start flowing more clearly. Making connections between things means we have understanding, which in itself elevates our consciousness. Being blind to things keeps us exactly where we are.

    No amount of kind words or focused attention will close someone else’s worthiness wound once and for all, so the best thing to do is to hold space; to be supportive and provide comfort, rather than trying to fight against that person’s current version of reality.

    In our own lives, a lot of the fear we experience comes from the dread of how we’re going to berate ourselves if we get it wrong. Our body and mind are braced for us to be unkind, frustrated and putting ourselves down for so long afterwards. This means that having a worthiness wound feels like death by a thousand papercuts.

    As with healing any belief (which then causes an emotional feeling such as unworthiness), it’s the dedicated pursuit of counteracting the current, comfortable habit of our brain which overrides its drive to keep doing things the same way.

    If your worthiness wound isn’t working for you any longer, it’s time to let it go. It starts with you, and it starts with agreeing to love yourself.

    Unconditionally.

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  • 5 Films With A Secret Spiritual Message

    Have you ever watched a film and thought… there’s something deeper going on here?

    This director must be spiritual AF

    Well, I have.

    Whether it was intended or not, there are films out there that convey a lot of the things we often talk about in spirituality – like manifestation; fate and destiny; quantum leaping; and alternate timelines.

    Over the years, I’ve made a note of some of these films and number 1 on this list is a favourite of mine.

    If you’re looking for a spiritual blockbuster to watch, try a film on this list and let me know if you have any others to add!

    Yep, this is one of my favourite films ever and I used to have it on video.

    Bruce – played by Jim Carey – gets God-given powers to create (read: manifest) absolutely anything that he wants in his life.

    He has total power to create his reality, which means he must take full responsibility for every thought he has and every decision he makes.

    It shows us how our individual lives are intertwined with everyone else’s and that our negative thoughts can have disastrous consequences; not only for us, but for the whole collective too.

    This is one of my Saturday night go-to’s and I’ve watched it countless times. For a lighthearted comedy where God is Morgan Freeman, this one will help you to remember your own power.

    This has got to be the most commonly referenced film in the spiritual world. People will usually quote the “red pill vs blue pill” choice that Neo has to make, but I took a different spiritual meaning from it.

    Yes, the choice between pills is about the fact that you can decide to change your reality, because the main storyline is about how our seemingly solid reality is just a projection.

    But, aside from these more blatant spiritual messages, the best one I found was in the advice that Morpheus tells Neo during his role as the guide. “Don’t think you are, know you are“, he says to Keanu Reeves, as he lectures him about letting go of fear, doubt and disbelief in order to free his mind.

    This piece about ‘knowing’ is vital for conquering the fear which often holds us back from going after our goals and having unshakeable belief – both crucial components of manifesting.

    The Matrix also dabbles with the question of how much we can attribute to fate (through the character of The Oracle) and how much of our life is a result of our own free will. It also claims that deja vu is just a glitch in The Matrix.

    Have you ever known a grumpy old sod and thought they’d be so much happier if only they could be grateful for what they already had?

    Well, that’s pretty much what this film is about.

    For ages, I knew it was a popular Christmas film that regularly tops the ‘best Christmas films of all time’ lists, but I didn’t realise it had a spiritual message.

    Gratitude is so important for our energy, mind, soul and relationships. Without it, any of these things can easily slip away from us.

    This legendary film is a classic for a reason, and gratitude is the main message that the Angels deliver to the leading man, George Bailey.

    This is a very intense film that comes with a trigger warning at the start, and it’s another one of those like The Matrix which has multiple spiritual meanings.

    At first glance, you’d be right in thinking this film is about the existence of alternate timelines and that we have the ability to quantum leap between each one. Fate, destiny, and our input into each of these is also a lesson that the main character – played by Ashton Kutcher – has to grapple with.

    However, there’s a prop that he always has with him regardless of which reality he’s in: his journal!

    He uses his journals to travel through time and move his realities, and his journalling is what keeps him stable and sane through the confusion and psychotic episodes.

    The main spiritual message of this film is an important one – that journaling holds the key to other dimensions and timelines.

    You can learn all of my best tips for journaling in my blog How To Start Journaling For Powerful Breakthroughs

    Now, this one I wouldn’t necessarily recommend watching unless you’re after some chick flick entertainment for a cosy night in on your own. Gwenyth Paltrow’s faux English accent is dodgy, to say the least!

    But, similarly to The Butterfly Effect and The Matrix, this film is all about the existence of parallel timelines that we’re able to move between using our decisions. The choices we make affect more than just that one outcome – they shift the whole path that lies before us.

    Missing a single train impacts Gwenyth’s relationship, career, mental state and where she lives. This film reminds you not to doubt how powerful your decisions are because they could change the rest of your life in a split second.

    ☽ ☆ ☾

    I hope you enjoy these film recommendations and the spiritual secrets they hold within their scripts. Are there any other secretly spiritual films that you’ve found?

    Add them in the comments below! 👇🏽

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  • How To Start Journaling For Powerful Breakthroughs

    One of the best ways to change what’s going on in your mind is to get a pen in your hand.

    When I start working with a new coaching client, one of the first things I’ll ask them is: “Do you journal…?”

    If the answer is no, I check that they have a fresh notebook and then tell them these same strategies for powerful and effective journaling that I’m going to tell you today.

    The way that you journal is going to change depending on how you feel and what you hope to achieve with it. For example, if you’re trying to manifest something, you’re going to need a different style of journaling than if you’re struggling with low mood and want to reconnect with yourself.

    I know that journaling has changed my life and the lives of so many other people, so I want it to do the same for you too.

    Try these 4 different types of journaling and see what kind of results you get; in my experience and the experiences of my clients, they have all led to powerful breakthroughs ↓

    Great for: Manifesting. Energy upgrades & alignment. Identity shifts.

    I’m talking about this type of journaling first because it’s undoubtedly the one that has changed my life the most. The things that I’ve written after these 2 words – over and over again – have become real in my life within 2 years. Obviously, there are still other things which haven’t arrived yet, but I know that they’re coming.

    This type of journaling is truly transformative.

    The reason why it’s so powerful is that it helps you to embody the person that you’ll be with this new thing. It’s that energy alignment with your future state which will attract your future manifestations.

    The first time that you write “I AM…” you might feel ridiculous, but then after repeating it over the course of days or weeks, it becomes normal. As you get used to writing “I AM…”, the words become your reality. The words become who you think you are. The words become the next phase of your life.

    There are 2 ways that you can do this:

    • You can write the same thing over and over again
    • Or you can write a page full of different “I AM” statements

    You can use “I AM”s to list the different pieces of your new life as though they’re all together. This gives you a complete vision of what your life will be like and all of the things that will be in it.

    When you truly believe that all of the “I AM’s” you write are possible, you unlock the door to another dimension where they are.

    Great for: Lifting a low mood. Positive mindset. Manifesting.

    I probably don’t need to tell you about the benefits of gratitude, but you can read about them here.

    Often our mind is so busy that we forget to appreciate all of the moments which are truly magical. Writing a “thank you list” during your journaling session gives you the opportunity to capture all of these moments on paper.

    As well as being grateful for everything that you have now, you can also be grateful for what’s to come in the future. This is another way of aligning your energy with that future version of you who’s living in another dimension where you’ve just received what you’re manifesting.

    How will you feel? Grateful!

    By writing that you’re grateful for what you’re manifesting as though you’ve just received it, you are bringing it into being. 

    You can be grateful for:

    • How you feel
    • What you have experienced
    • What you have eaten
    • Who you have spoken to
    • What you cherish
    • The home that you have around you
    • And everything that’s to come in your future

    Great for: Releasing burdens. Asking for help. Connecting to your guides/Angels/God.

    If you’re looking for a deeper connection with the Universe, why not write it a letter?

    By writing a letter to the Universe, you can create a line of open communication with it.

    Without realising, we can so often become unclear on what we want and how we feel because we have so many contradictions and conflicting ideas. Our limiting beliefs say one thing and our desires say another!

    By writing a letter to the Universe, you can clarify your own thoughts and post them to a higher power.

    There are multiple things that you can write in this letter, including:

    • Requests, ie, “please help me (or someone else) with…”
    • Things you are grateful for
    • Asking for clarity, signs or reasons to be revealed

    This is not just about the Universe understanding what you want and how you feel; it’s also about you revealing this to yourself.

    This is a great way of handing over responsibility and relinquishing control of the things that you don’t really have control over anyway.

    Surrender your worries to the Universe and know that they are being taken care of. Write the reasons why you feel the way that you do, knowing that they are understood. Request help, knowing that it will be given.

    Great for: Channeling messages. Releasing burdens. Relieving anxiety.

    If you’ve been feeling all of the feels lately – or a structure isn’t appealing today – feel free to have a brain dump on a page of your journal.

    This is your opportunity to open up and let it all out. Whatever you want to say, you can say!

    The most important thing is that you don’t let your mind talk you out of what you really want to write.

    How are you feeling? What are you thinking? And what wants to come through?

    If you want to use this free writing method to channel spiritual messages, you can do this by opening up your crown chakra and allowing anything that wants to come through. This is how I write my online courses and my workbooks for coaching – I open up fully and write by hand.

    You will be amazed at what comes out.

    Set a strong intention to connect with whoever you want: Angels, your galactic team, spirit guides, or anyone else. You might notice the energy centres in the palms of your hands getting activated as you do this.

    Think of the page as your space to just let go and let the magic happen.

    ☽ ☆ ☾

    I hope that these journaling techniques serve you well and unlock some doors inside your mind and soul. Remember that you can create whatever you want to create if you energetically commit to your journaling – the power is with you and the pen!

     

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  • How You Can Avoid Burnout As A Caring Coach

    Seeing the transformation you can create as a coach is extremely rewarding, but in any kind of mentor/counsellor/coach type role you have extra pressures placed on you.

    I find that a lot of INFJ’s and ENFJ’s are drawn to coaching in the spiritual and personal development space because we’re service based and genuinely want to make a difference in the world. As a group, us empaths, sensitives and intuitives can really take on too much of a burden in our effort to do our best.

    So, what could you do to try and avoid overwhelm, while still being the best coach that you can possibly be?

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    This can be tricky to do when you have clients across different time zones and clients that work 9-5 during the week who would rather have calls at the weekend.

    It doesn’t matter what your rules are – but try to set some for yourself. Whether it’s that you don’t go on Instagram after 8pm and you have the last few hours of the evening to yourself, or that you have one day a week completely “off” where you don’t do any calls/emails/messages at all to make that day 100% yours.

    This is a boundary that you can create with your clients; and with any professional boundaries in a coaching space, it’s always important to lay them down at the start so that clear expectations are set at the beginning of the relationship. For example, if you decide to start an 8pm phones-down-no-Instagram rule, then tell them about it!

    Side note: I talk about how I batch Instagram DM’s a lot and once your platform grows to a certain size you could literally spend all day going back-and-forth with messages. By setting time limits and rules about when you reply to DMs, you’ll be able to serve your clients properly and create amazing free content that will attract more clients to you in the future.

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    This is good advice for life, coaches, and everyone in any industry! But it’s especially true for coaches who need to work extra hard to keep their energy separate from their clients’.

    Once a week, I do a 40-minute Reiki clearing meditation on myself and I feel 10x better afterwards. I have Epsom Salt baths. I go for a walk in nature. And I do journalling every single morning.

    These activities keep me sane, centred and grounded, and help me to remember who I am so that I can give my best to other people. If I had a work day that didn’t start like this, I would feel scattered, frustrated, annoyed, and like I was losing myself – this is obviously not ok.

    Starting your day with meditation and journalling will put YOU at the top of your priority list, which gives you the best shot at getting amazing results for your clients because you can intuitively access your best advice.

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    Do the maths…

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    At a low price you need more clients to meet your monthly goals, whereas at a higher price you can serve fewer clients + have more time to yourself + give those clients better service while still meeting your monthly money goals.

    We all have sooo many layers to our wealth mindset, and its foundation is self love and self acceptance. Our self worth defines what we price our worthiness at for other people.

    It will ultimately become a self-fulfilling prophecy when you run yourself into the ground because you haven’t charged enough, meaning that you wouldn’t be giving them great service (which part of you deep down was expecting all along…)

    It’s worth overcoming the mental mindset hurdles to be able to maximise your results and income potential, while minimising your risk of burnout as a coach.

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    The truth of the matter is: even coaches need coaches.

    We all need someone to bounce ideas off and get guidance from when we’re busy building our big dreams for the future. We need someone to remind us that we’re doing an amazing job and to sound the alarm when it looks like we’re on the road to overwhelm. We need someone to spot the holes in our mindset that we can’t see, so that we can get out of our own goddamn way

    It’s always helpful to have someone who’s already been where we are because it’s so much quicker and cheaper to be shown the shortcuts to success rather than spending years figuring them out on our own.

    This is also true for figuring out how to avoid burnout and be most effective as a coach.

    A coach who’s further along the same journey as you can give you expert advice about how to create a huge impact while doing what you love.

    ☽ ☆ ☾

    If you feel like you need a coach and you have a spiritual business of any kind, I have great news!

    If you find it hard bringing clients into your business or finding the right clients, then this training is for you. You will learn a combination of marketing and manifesting techniques to magnetise the people who will be a joy to work with. Join the Masterclass now

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