Communication creates understanding, and if you’re not communicating with your partner in a way they’ll understand, you’ll both feel like you’re reading from different pages.
It will also mean you’re not getting your needs met, especially if you have the issue of thinking it’s “obvious” what you want and need, so they should be able to read your mind.
Communication in a relationship needs to be clear and explicit, just like it does in a business – if people don’t know what you do, they won’t come to you.
And not all communication is spoken. You’ve probably heard the statistic that 70-93% of our communication is non-verbal.
We may be missing vital cues from our partner, not realising that they ARE expressing a lot of love towards us – because we’re expecting to receive love in a totally different way.
Do you see how this leads to wires being crossed? Creating two unsatisfied partners who are trying their best to be heard and seen?
There’s a saying that the loudest way to love someone is to make them feel seen, because we all want to feel understood.
By understanding your partner’s love language, you can make them feel completely seen and understood.
And one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is that when you change how you approach a situation, the situation changes.
Understanding your (and your partner’s) love language and then acting accordingly will create so much more harmony in your relationship. You’ll be living in tune with each other – and you’ll be able to give each other what you need, even though you express things differently.
Are you ready to dive into the 5 love languages?
1) Words of affirmation – You want to be told with love notes, text messages, written letters and whispers in your ear that you’re loved. The words themselves are important to you, and you treasure things that people have written and said to you in the past. You want verbal confirmation of how loved you are, and to hear “I love you” frequently.
2) Quality time – You want to be people’s no.1 priority when it comes to their schedule. You know time is scarce, but if people don’t want to invest much of their time with you, you feel unloved. Someone making space for you in their calendar feels like the ultimate act of devotion and you love feeling worthy as the centre of their attention for that time they’re giving you.
3) Acts of service – You want people to make your life easier and lift the load. It’s doing the little things without having to be asked that lights you up the most, like when your partner takes out the recycling or goes to pick up your dry cleaning. If they’ve saved you time, it’s a massive win and feels like a huge gift. You don’t just want to be told that you’re loved and appreciated, you want to be SHOWN through actions that demonstrate you’re appreciated.
4) Gifts – You love tokens of appreciation in the form of things that you thoughtfully get given. It means the world to you if your partner spots something on your vision board and buys it for you, or they bring a souvenir back to show they thought of you on holiday. It’s not so much the gift itself, but the gesture. Being given flowers, cups of tea or an extra treat from town is the way to your heart.
5) Physical touch – You love the physical feeling of comfort that another person gives you, and you want to be as close to your partner as possible. You love massages and foot rubs, as well as lots of cuddles and kisses; this extends to physical intimacy too – especially if they have strong Scorpio vibes! Touch feels extra soothing and calming to people who have this as their main love language.
We all have a combination of these love languages, with some we prioritise more than others.
Reflect on which one would make you most annoyed if you didn’t receive it. What would make you feel most frustrated if they stopped doing it completely? They are all nice to receive, but you’ll notice the absence of your no.1 love language the most.
Find out your partner’s love language too and you’ll be able to love perfectly in tune!
You can listen to this podcast episode here 🎤
