Rather than forgive and forget, sometimes we opt for “resent and fester” because it feels so much easier to reach.
But who does it hurt the most if we aren’t willing to forgive?
Today, I want to offer up the thought that we are always the ones who benefit the most from our decision to forgive. And here are 8 reasons why…
1 To allow yourself peace of mind
Tranquility of mind is what so many of us are lacking these days, with our manic schedules and endless demands filling our mindspace. By choosing not to forgive, you are choosing to hold on to something which could be released instead.
Rather than mulling over the many ways that someone has wronged you, try to spend part of that time thinking about how and why you should forgive that person – and then spend the rest on things which make you happy.
2 To protect your energetic vibration
The word that I notice myself saying most often is energy, because at the end of the day – that’s all we are! As you can imagine by how it makes you feel, resentment is a very low vibration energy for us to stay in. Over time, it turns toxic and becomes insidious to our entire energy field.
Choosing love instead is a decision which will always elevate your energy to highest of heights. When your heart is full, you become a magnet for everything that you desire. Everything is reachable when you are coming from a place of love and gratitude. Forgiveness might be the secret sauce that you’re missing if you feel like something is in the way of your manifestations, but you can’t figure out quite what.
3 To benefit your other relationships
When there is friction in a relationship, the static can be felt by everyone near it. In interconnected relationship networks, such as a family or friendship group, a failure to forgive can affect more than just one relationship. We have all been in the situation before of feeling forced to take sides because two people couldn’t reconcile something that happened between them.
Similarly, one person may have caused you a huge amount of hurt, but by choosing not to forgive then you may be hurting other people around you too. Forgiveness heals your relationships with more than just who you are forgiving.
4 To be an example of what’s possible
If you are able to forgive someone who has seriously wronged you, then you become an example of what’s possible. You show others that love is always an open option, and that no-one else’s actions can stop you from choosing it. Instead, you lead with love, and inspire others to do the same; even in the most testing situations…
Your actions speak volumes about your character, and if you can teach others by example the value of forgiveness, then your character will start a positive ripple effect throughout the world. You can show other people the peace that follows forgiveness, and give them confidence to make the same choice when they need to. Reach for forgiveness and be a living example of what’s possible through love.
5 To let go of your past and make space for the future
Making space for new things that you want to enter is a relatively recent lesson on my manifesting journey. Choosing to let go is a crucial part of saying “yes” to your future, because you’re no longer using that energy to hold onto your past instead.
Let go of hurt and open the energetic door for new beginnings, new lessons, and your own healing. Through forgiveness, you make it possible to understand how the other person is feeling and what caused them to act this way, rather than having your judgement skewed by a blurry fog of resentment.
6 To practice empathy and understanding
Empathy and understanding are not always our brain’s first response…
When we are angered or perceive that we’re a victim of injustice, then we can feel a familiar urge to hop into monkey mode and beat our chests until we feel vindicated. But, in the long run, this does no good for our emotional, mental or spiritual health.
Empathy is an art and the world needs more artists. When we are presented with people who have wronged us, then we are also presented with an opportunity to express ourselves as the kind, loving individuals that we really are. When we make seeking understanding rather than retribution one of our habitual responses, then we retrain our brain to instinctively look for the best in all people and circumstances.
7 To set emotional boundaries
This one might sound counterintuitive at first, because: how can forgiving someone who has wronged you be an example of emotional boundaries? Isn’t it just giving them a free pass to do the same again?
This reason is really to highlight that by forgiving someone, you are setting good emotional boundaries with yourself. You are making a conscious decision not to allow someone else to dictate your mood and emotions, and you’re reclaiming your own mental wellbeing. You are choosing to see people in a positive way, rather than allowing someone else to drag you down and cause you to see things differently as a result of their actions. You are keeping your emotions under your own control, rather than under the control of others.
8 To free yourself from regret
The implications of this reason can be enormous. I don’t know about you, but in the context of strained family relationships, I always worry about what will happen when the other person dies and I am left here on Earth. What will I think; how will I feel; and will I have any regrets?
The best way to avoid these potential regrets is to resolve the issues that you’re worrying about as quickly as your heart will allow. Choose to move forward in order to eliminate the risk of years looking back, wondering what you might have done differently. You never hear stories of people who have chosen to forgive, but then lived to regret it; yet there are many of people who have held onto grudges, and then regretted the time that they lost.
As always, the choice is yours…
When someone has seriously hurt you, then you are the only one who will know how you really feel about it – and therefore, how you would like to respond.
But, somewhere in your heart, I am sure that there is a deep desire for healing, love, and completeness – which all become possible through the act of forgiveness.
To forgive does not mean that you are permitting their wrong, but it does mean that you value your own mental and emotional health more than the past action of another person. It means that you value your own happiness and sanity to such an extent that no-one can take it away from you.
The benefits of choosing forgiveness are plenty, and the benefits of going without it are few.
Open your heart and forgive without fear, because you can’t always control the actions of others – but you can always choose how to react.
With so much love,