♞ Mindset ♞

  • How Decluttering Can Transform Your Home and Happiness

    Shopping was my kryptonite.

    I always wanted more and more and more, and no amount of clothes, shoes or bags could ever be enough. This is what I was like pre-spiritual awakening…

    I had a lot of intense energy and drive but nowhere for it to go outside of the office, so I channeled all of my extra energy into gaining mastery of the physical world and collecting as many beautiful things as I could. The satisfaction that I gained was fleeting and could never be fully satisfied. I didn’t know why I was here, and so I continued searching for myself within the parcels and packages that would arrive at my door each day.

    You might have noticed that after awakening, it becomes a lot harder to reconcile the stuff with the spirituality. Once we’re able to see clearly, the outer world becomes less important and we recognise the temporary nature of our incarnation in this life; no amount of “stuff” can hold us here any longer than we’re meant to be. That’s why I think more of us than ever are feeling an urge to “get rid” and transform our homes into somewhere that we can feel free, rather than frustrated.

    In the Autumn of 2018, it was time for me to jump on Marie Kondo’s bandwagon and clear the clutter. I was living in a large 4 bedroom, 3 story house and it was full; not messy, but I’d bought all of the furniture, fittings and ornaments to make it into a beautiful home for hosting guests and dinner parties every weekend. On top of that, I’d never fully moved out of my parent’s house and I had a literal “Monica cupboard” full of memories, old Walkmans, Halloween costumes and toiletry gifts from Christmases gone by (oh, so many toiletries…) that were now weighing heavily on my soul. I didn’t need all of this stuff, so how did it even get here!?

    I was blind to how much I was tying myself down, as well as how much work I was creating for future me. Over the next 1.5 years, I committed fully to clearing out my house and also found that I was clearing my head in the process.

    It’s so much easier to be clear-headed in a space where there’s less stuff. Fewer things to store, tidy and clean, and more time to think, write and breathe. In clearing out the house, I had the chance to sort through old memories and precious belongings that I’d forgotten I had – love letters from primary school boyfriends, festival bands from my teenage years, and pieces of jewellery that I never used to take off.  By selling off the clutter piece by piece, I made over £1000 on Facebook marketplace alone!

    FRIENDS – The One With The Secret Closet episode (2002) by Warner Bros.

    That was enough to pay for 3 cleaners to clean the house, hiring a van overnight, and the first month’s rent for our new flat in Glastonbury. Just a few years ago, I would never have thought that I’d be happy in a smaller flat that we didn’t own but actually, I’m even happier than I was before. Partly because it means I’m one step closer to my biggest goal at the moment…

    If you’ve been following me for a while, you might have heard me say that actually being READY for what you’re trying to manifest is one of the most important things when applying the Law of Attraction in your life. You might also know that one of my biggest goals at the moment is to move abroad! Specifically, somewhere with blue skies and palm trees where I can live within a stone’s throw of a sandy beach 🌴

    That’s why we’re renting now and why I have been decluttering down to only the things that we’ll take with us overseas. Having this big end goal at the front of my mind has kept me motivated to keep decluttering even when the task started to feel like it was never-ending. Now I can finally say that it was worth it because my home is clear, my head is clearer, and I’m finally ready to receive a manifestation that will completely change my life.

    Decluttering is so much more than simply getting rid of the stuff you don’t need. It means you can let go of emotional baggage from the past versions of you and step forward into the future with a lighter load.

    If you want to clear both your home and your head, know that it’s possible and that your effort will pay off dividends for your future and your manifesting power.



  • How Gratitude Affects The Human Heart & Rewires Your Brain

    That got me right in the heart. My heart is full. I just felt in my heart that it wasn’t right…

    More than just words, there’s actual evidence that we feel things in our heart – particularly when it comes to gratitude!

    Today, I want to tell you about the fact that gratitude can literally change your brain, and that it’s usually our heart sending signals to our brain instead of the other way around. The people who choose to write letters of gratitude every single day have been found to have significantly better mental health, even up to 12 weeks after they stop doing it 😱

    Our society tends to feed us the subliminal message that we need to buy more things in order to be happy, which can breed an insatiable desire to buy more and more things in the hope that one day we’ll have enough to feel grateful for. So, if gratitude isn’t your go-to emotion then you can be forgiven – and you’re definitely not alone!

    Gratitude is totally subjective and the very same thing has the power to make one person feel like they have everything and another feel like they have nothing. And that’s because it’s never really about the item in question at all – it’s all about how we perceive it in our brain. Some research from UCLA’s Mindfulness Awareness Research Centre said this:

    Having an attitude of gratitude changes the molecular structure of the brain, keeps gray matter functioning, and makes us healthier and happier. When you feel happiness, the central nervous system is affected. You are more peaceful, less reactive and less resistant. Now that’s a really cool way of taking care of your well-being.

    It’s no secret that intentional gratitude practice, such as writing down 3 things you’re grateful for each morning, has the power to start changing your mood. If you’re someone who already has a regular gratitude practice, then hopefully you’ve noticed some of the benefits. And if you keep your gratitude journal private, like I do, you’ll also know that there’s no need to share the things you’re grateful for with anyone else in order to start feeling better.

    The benefits of gratitude practice grow over time, so don’t be discouraged if you don’t wake up feeling like a different person after the first few days – it will take a little bit of time before the neurological effects of gratitude changing your brain start to show (ref). With each additional day that you feel grateful, you’re rewiring your brain to search for the positives rather than the negatives in your life.

    There are countless studies on the benefits of gratitude and they all point to the same fact: gratitude is good for you. Really, really good for you. Robert A. Emmons at the University of California and Mike McCullough at the University of Miami ran a gratitude study that involved splitting their study candidates into 3 groups. The first group had to keep a journal of things they were grateful for, while the second had to journal what was hassling them, and the final group had to write a neutral account of what had happened that week. After 10 weeks of doing this, the grateful group reported feeling 25% better than the others and had done 1.5 hours more exercise (ref).

    There are so many ways that we can access these benefits, including:

    • 🙏🏽  Writing in a gratitude journal
    • 🙏🏽  Saying thank you and expressing how much we appreciate our loved ones
    • 🙏🏽  Noticing what we’re grateful for throughout the day as good things happen to us

    Now, About That Heart Of Yours…

    At the Institute of HeartMath, a group of experts across multiple fields from cardiology to psychology found that it’s our heart that feels these positive emotions like joy and gratitude; and THEN tells our brain about it. Not vice versa. For those of us who aren’t working at the cutting edge of science, it’s most likely that you’re used to the idea of the brain doing all the thinking – but we really are feeling joy in our physical heart!

    When we’re full of positive emotions such as love and gratitude for our life, our heartbeat changes as if it’s typing out a love note to the brain. Fun fact: the heart creates the largest electromagnetic field in our whole body. It’s no surprise, then, that as I always say – your heart centre is your manifestation station! There are 4 ways that our heart communicates with the rest of our body and it’s via the nervous system, pulse waves, hormones and electromagnetic fields.

    HeartMath research has demonstrated that different patterns of heart activity (which accompany different emotional states) have distinct effects on cognitive and emotional function. During stress and negative emotions, when the heart rhythm pattern is erratic and disordered, the corresponding pattern of neural signals traveling from the heart to the brain inhibits higher cognitive function. This limits our ability to think clearly, remember, learn, reason, and make effective decisions. In contrast, the more ordered and stable pattern of the heart’s input to the brain during positive emotional states has the opposite effect. It facilitates cognitive function and reinforces positive feelings and emotional stability… – HeartMath.org

    Our body is our best intuitive device for giving and receiving messages to our brain, the people we love and the Universe. When you make the decision to start rewiring your brain with gratitude, it’s a decision that will have a lasting effect on your neurological wiring and can improve your whole experience of the world – which is all there really is because your experience is unique to you.

    Living a heart-led life is so important for our happiness and wellbeing which is why I always say it’s one of the 3 pillars of successful manifesting – live in your purpose, follow your heart, and then manifest with joy and ease.

    Choosing to find what we love in our life instead of what we’d like to change will always lead to success – whatever the outcome – because we’ll find that the joy of gratitude can never be changed by our external circumstances. Start small, start now and just think to yourself –

    What do I have to be grateful for…?



  • Imposter Syndrome And Me – A Doubtful Love Affair

    You know that feeling when you think you’re a fraud?

    Even when you know your stuff, even when you’ve practised, even when you’ve been given good feedback from everyone else – but for some reason, that nervous voice in your mind still tells you that you’re not good enough?

    Whether it’s a mean comment from childhood that pops up again, a time we failed that still haunts us or a general crisis of faith, we all suffer from imposter syndrome sometimes. This has never been more true for me than right now!

    Going back to university and teaching master’s students, I feel wildly unprepared. I’m actually writing this to you before sunrise and before I need to start getting ready to drive across to campus. There’s a part of me that knows I’m actually very well equipped and have a lot to offer – but there’s a bigger part of me that… isn’t so sure.

    Imposter syndrome is described as the internal feeling of not being capable which doesn’t match up to how other people perceive you from the outside. This disconnect between our inner and outer worlds – what other people see vs. what we see – is unnerving and isolating. Doubt creeps into all of our inner dialogues sometimes, especially when we’re sensitive, passionate and want to deliver the best results for the people that we’re serving.

    There’s a link between perfectionism and how likely you are to experience imposter syndrome, and the same is also true for social anxiety. For those of us who have had anxiety, depression, eating disorders or bullying/abuse of any kind, these familiar feelings have a tendency to fall back into place once we’re under pressure.

    You are likely to experience imposter syndrome more often if:

    • You came from a family that put a big emphasis on personal achievement
    • You always had to sidestep criticism from friends or family members
    • You felt as though you had to work hard or alter yourself to get praise
    • You’re starting a new role or trying something for the first time – this insecurity in an unknown situation forces our brain to reach for old coping methods
    • You always feel like the odd one out, so getting acceptance from others has been tricky

    Imposter syndrome isn’t recognised as a diagnostic disorder, but rather, a mental event that happens to us sometimes. It makes it harder for us to recognise and internally accept our successes because it always feels as though we’ve just ‘made it through without anyone realising’. The deep, deep, deep beliefs hiding underneath imposter syndrome can be hard to see, harder to change and insidious to our own personal experience of success – even if we’re hitting the landmarks of success on the outside.

    The way that I try to coach myself out of imposter syndrome is to remember what achievements got me to that position in the first place. What have you done well in? What same compliments do you always seem to get from different people? It’s likely that they’re not just a coincidence if everyone agrees about something that you’re great at. What can you bring to the table that you know no-one else will be serving?

    You have so many gifts and there’s no need to wrap them up in self-doubt. Our time, however, is limited, so it is important to share what you really need to share with the world. As The Darkness said about love, imposter syndrome “is only a feeling” so don’t give too much credence to a fleeting thought that isn’t rooted in reality.

    Whether other people believe in you or not, your skills are valid and your right to be here is not up for debate. When the anxious thoughts are taking over, instead of trying to replace them with positive ones, try emptying your mind of thoughts altogether. Take a quiet moment for yourself and you might find some space to try on a new outlook.

    And always remember…

    You are so, so, so worthy – so trust. And have faith.

    You really are meant to be here.



  • How To Calm Your Anxiety With Box Breathing… (like a US Navy SEAL)

    What do you do when you feel anxious?

    If you’re a US Navy SEAL, then you’ll probably turn to this method first as a way of regaining your concentration in stressful situations.

    Yet, for those of us who aren’t one (and I’m guessing that, like me – you probably aren’t…) we can still learn how to do the same thing and get the benefits from it! This simple technique can be used by anyone and requires minimal training while providing maximum results.

    What are the Benefits?

    There’s a lot of medical evidence to show that this kind of intentional deep breathing can calm the autonomic nervous system (ANS), which regulates our temperature and blood pressure. As you’ll know from the times when you’ve felt super stressed out, these are the first things that shoot up when we sense that we’re under pressure.

    On account of the evidence that it alleviates stress and lifts your mood, box breathing is even recommended for a range of anxiety disorders such as generalised, panic, post-traumatic stress and to alleviate depressive symptoms.

    If you have trouble sleeping at night, you can also try this technique to get your mind and body into a more relaxed state. Getting trapped within a cycle of insomnia only exacerbates anxious feelings, so getting a good night’s sleep will help you to regain your inner calm as you go through the next day.

    So, what is Box Breathing?

    Quite simply, it gets its name from the cyclical 4-step pattern that we need to follow – which can literally be imagined in the shape of a box…

    Screenshot 2020-04-20 at 19.09.03

    Begin by sitting up straight with your hands facing upright on your knees and your eyes closed, just like you would for a normal meditation.

    ☞ Slowly and evenly exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds, emptying your lungs completely of air. As you do this, make sure that you’re focusing on the intention of regaining your physical calm.

    ☞ Hold your breath for 4 seconds with empty lungs.

    ☞ Breathe in deeply for 4 seconds through your nose, filling your lungs as much as possible and making your abdomen rise up.

    ☞ Hold your breath for 4 seconds with full lungs.

    and repeat…

    That’s all there is to it!

    Next time you feel nervous, rushed or frantic – give this simple technique a try to see if it helps you. This method takes very little time to do, but can easily and effectively bring your body back into balance.

    Sometimes the simplest ways really are the best, aren’t they?