☂ Relationships ☂

  • Use a ‘Wheel of Emotions’ to Find Out What You’re Really Feeling

    When feeling tangled up between your emotions, it can be hard to tell what you’re even feeling – especially when it’s changing so frequently.

    Enter the Wheel of Emotions!

    Wheel of Emotions

    This psychological tool can provide enough clarity to help us see clearly through our anguish in order to find a way out.

    When we can see our emotions for what they truly are – instead of just feeling their pain – then we can begin the journey of coming to terms with them, processing them, and reframing them as necessary.

    My favourite part of the wheel is what happens in the transition between the middle circle and the outer circle. Blinding bitterness can be seen clearly as feeling violated, and the humiliation boils down to a lack of respect.

    This is exactly the kind of clarity that we’re missing when struggling against the grip of intense emotions.

    Once you can accurately identify the emotions that you’re feeling, it takes part of the mental anguish away. Specifically, the part that arises from confusion over what we’re experiencing – and how we should choose to respond.

    Using this wheel created by Robert Plutchik allows us to develop our emotional intelligence by navigating through our emotions with an easy-to-read road map. Being able to identify what’s happening in our mind closes the gap between what we can perceive at the time and the underlying root of the issue.

    When this happens, we’re able to respond in a way which will honour our true emotion, instead of staying lost in confusion. Translate your emotions using this wheel and then choose the best way to respond.

    Patience becomes easier with understanding, and when we can understand ourselves better, we can be more patient with ourselves during the healing process.

    I hope that this wheel can help to provide you with the emotional direction that you need next time you feel lost somewhere between your own emotions.



  • 8 Reasons To Forgive The Person Who Hurt You The Most

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    When you’re struggling to get clarity because of something you’re holding on to, letting go can be easier said than done. In this free guided meditation, you will cut your cords to release the past and move forward. 


    Who does it hurt most if we aren’t willing to forgive?

    Today, I want to offer up the thought that we’re always the ones who benefit the most from our decision to forgive. 

    And here are 8 Reasons Why

    1 ⋆☽ To allow yourself peace of mind ☾⋆

    Tranquility is what so many of us are lacking these days, with our manic schedules and endless demands filling our mind. By choosing not to forgive, you’re choosing to hold on to something which could be released instead.

    Rather than mulling over the many ways someone has wronged you, try to spend part of that time thinking about how and why you can forgive that person – and then spend the rest on things that make you happy.

    2 ⋆☽ To protect your energetic vibration ☾⋆

    As you can imagine by how it makes you feel, resentment is a very low vibration energy for us to stay in. Over time, it turns toxic and becomes insidious to our entire aura.

    Choosing love instead is a decision that will always elevate your energy. When your heart is full, you become a magnet for everything you desire. Everything is reachable eventually when you’re coming from a place of love and gratitude. Forgiveness might be the secret sauce that you’re missing if you feel like something is in the way of your manifestations.

    3 ⋆☽ To benefit your other relationships ☾⋆

    When there’s friction in a relationship, the static can be felt by everyone near it. In interconnected relationship networks, such as families or friendship groups, a failure to forgive can affect more than just one relationship. We’ve all been in the situation before of feeling forced to take sides because two people couldn’t reconcile something.

    One person may have caused you a huge amount of hurt, but by choosing not to forgive them, you may be hurting other people around you too. Forgiveness heals your relationships with more than just who you are forgiving.

    4 ⋆☽ To be an example of what’s possible ☾⋆

    If you’re able to forgive someone who has seriously wronged you, then you become an example of what’s possible. You show others that love is always an option and that no-one else’s actions can stop you from choosing it. Instead, you lead with love and inspire others to do the same; even in the most testing situations…

    Your actions speak volumes about your character, and if you can teach others by example the value of forgiveness, your character will start a positive ripple effect. You can show other people the peace that follows forgiveness and give them the confidence to make the same choice when they need to. Reach for forgiveness and be a living example of what’s possible through love.

    5 ⋆☽ To let go of your past and make space for the future ☾⋆

    Choosing to let go is a crucial part of saying “yes” to your future because you’re no longer using that energy to hold on to your past instead.

    Let go of hurt and open the energetic door for new beginnings, new lessons, and your own healing. Through forgiveness, you make it possible to understand how the other person is feeling and what caused them to act this way, rather than having your judgement skewed by a blurry fog of resentment.

    6 ⋆☽ To practice empathy and understanding ☾⋆ 

    Empathy and understanding aren’t always our brain’s first response…

    When we’re angered or perceive that we’re a victim of injustice, we can feel a familiar urge to hop into monkey mode and beat our chests until we feel vindicated. But, in the long run, this does no good for our emotional, mental or spiritual health.

    Empathy is an art and the world needs more artists. When we’re presented with people who have wronged us, we’re also presented with an opportunity to express ourselves as the kind, loving individuals that we really are. When we make seeking understanding rather than retribution one of our habitual responses, then we retrain our brain to instinctively look for the best in all people and circumstances.

    7 ⋆☽ To set emotional boundaries ☾⋆ 

    This one might sound counterintuitive at first, because how can forgiving someone who has wronged you be an example of emotional boundaries? Isn’t it just giving them a free pass to do the same again?

    This reason is really to highlight that by forgiving someone, you’re setting good emotional boundaries with yourself. You’re making a conscious decision not to allow someone else to dictate your mood and emotions, and you’re reclaiming your own mental wellbeing. You’re choosing to see people in a positive way, rather than allowing someone else to drag you down. You’re refusing to see things differently as a result of their actions. You’re keeping your emotions under your own control, rather than under the control of others.

    8 ⋆☽ To free yourself from regret ☾⋆ 

    I don’t know about you, but in the context of strained family relationships, I always worry about what will happen when the other person dies. What will I think? How will I feel? And will I have any regrets?

    The best way to avoid these potential regrets is to resolve the issues that you’re worrying about as quickly as your heart will allow. Choose to move forward in order to eliminate the risk of years looking back, wondering what you might have done differently. You never hear stories of people who have chosen to forgive, but then lived to regret it; yet there are many of people who have held onto grudges, and then regretted the time that they lost.

    As always, the choice is yours…

    When someone has seriously hurt you, you’re the only one who knows how you really feel about it – and therefore, how you’d like to respond.

    But, somewhere in your heart, I’m sure that there’s a deep desire for healing, love, and completeness – which all become possible through the act of forgiveness.

    To forgive doesn’t mean that you’re permitting their wrong, but it does mean that you value your own mental and emotional health more than the past action of another person. It means that you value your own happiness and sanity to such an extent that no-one can take it away from you.

    The benefits of choosing forgiveness are plenty, and the benefits of going without it are few.

    Open your heart and forgive without fear, because you can’t always control the actions of others – but you can always choose how to react.



  • Endings & New Beginnings · Finding Grace Between the Cycles of Life

    When one door closes, another door opens.

    But what if one door hits you square in the face on the way out, and you have nothing else to fall back on?

    This has happened to all of us at some point, I’m sure. There will have been a time where it felt like something has fallen apart without anything there to replace it right away.

    Life will always be our greatest teacher and getting comfortable with the transition of seasons while leaning on faith is what we’re in Earth school to learn sometimes. Things only break to allow something greater to break through, and we need to let go of things so that better things can replace them. When something detaches from us and we feel adrift, it is our job to figure out how it’s really a gift!

    Sometimes we don’t know our next step, and that’s ok. Sometimes we misjudge our next step, and that’s ok too. The most important thing of all is that you remain ok throughout this whole process of learning and growth.

    Being able to set yourself free from expectations will relieve you of worry and doubt. If we aren’t attached to outcomes, then we don’t feel so wounded when they reveal themselves to be illusions or far from our highest good.

    Yesterday, I was moved when reading an announcement by One Direction singer Louis Tomlinson after the sudden passing of sister:

    “Someone recently said something very interesting about how so many people focus on the ‘end game’ without enjoying the doing. I’ve been thinking a lot more about what success means to me. I feel like I’ve been mistranslating it for the last 3 years. Everything I’ve ever known, in my career, is straight down the middle pop. My expectations and aspirations are all shaped around my experiences, as much as I try and stay realistic I couldn’t help but crave a ‘hit’ single. Over the last few weeks, I’ve put a lot of things into perspective and in fact what I should be doing is forgetting about perception and to a certain degree worry less about being defined on commercial success. Turning a page today. Enjoy today and enjoy the ride! Don’t get lost on the way up.”

    Chapters closing open up a new page for fresh thoughts and ideas. If we focus on the old for too long, we lose the creative spark of newness. As humans and animals, our ingenuity means that we can adapt to and survive the seasons of planet Earth – so we’re not as weak as we may feel at times. We are not unable to weather change; it’s just that we don’t like to.

    Finding grace between life’s cycles means to be assured that everything is always working in your highest favour. Yes, it’s certainly true that everything is really working for you rather than against you. There is nothing that you cannot recover from and no hurdle that you cannot jump over when you know that there’ll always be something better for you on the other side. It may take some time – but it will always show itself eventually. 

    Ease of change is tantamount to ease of life because life is a continuous cycle of change. When you know that you are strong, capable, and supported – then you can turn the pages with curiosity and intrigue rather than fear and trepidation. There is always something better for you on the other side of change in the form of new lessons, experiences, and most importantly – growth. 

    You cannot fully expand into a new version of yourself if your life stays the same, so treasure endings as an opportunity for a new you to shine through. There are so many great things waiting for you on the other side of the many golden doors that you’ll encounter when walking through life. You are capable of unlocking them all with grace and ease if you have an open mind and a trusting heart.

    The cyclical nature of life was designed to work in our favour, and as with all things in life, when we can enjoy them for what they are instead of expecting more from them – then we are able to enjoy the beauty in what is, instead of “what we wish it was” but is not. The lows allow for appreciation of the highs, and the past allows us to see what we have in the present. 

    Sometimes we cannot change what happens in our life, but we can always change our reaction to it. We see the world through our own eyes, and therefore, we can switch lenses at any moment.

    Embrace endings and new beginnings as a chance for renewed perspective, and invite in new opportunities with an open heart to receive and embrace them fully.

    Life is always working for you, and everything always happens for your highest good.



  • A Guide To Boundaries For Empaths & Sensitive People

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    When you’re struggling to get clarity because of something you’re holding on to, letting go can be easier said than done. In this free guided meditation, you will cut your cords to release the past and move forward. 


    Boundaries are the invisible rules that we write to define how much of our energy other people have access to.

    You’ll already be familiar with what it feels like when someone oversteps your boundaries. Whether it’s a mother-in-law who turns up unannounced, a child who sleeps in your bed more than you’d like, or a friend who asks more of you than you get in return. If clear boundaries aren’t set in the early stages of a relationship, then responsibilities can get blurred until you realise that you’ve taken on more than your fair share.

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    Setting clear boundaries is incredibly important.

    Without them, what starts as generosity can build up as resentment until it reaches a critical mass, ie, the relationship ultimately ending. Blurry boundaries can erode your sense of identity until you start questioning who you really are and what you really stand for.

    Of course, most people aren’t overstepping your boundaries on purpose – they’re simply responding to your energetic vibration and the standards that you’ve set for yourself. Boundaries begin with you, and they’re not the other person’s responsibility if you haven’t set them in the first place.

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    • ✦ Not wanting to go and see someone because you know that you’ll feel drained afterwards
    • ✦ Feeling like you have no time for yourself because you’ve given all of your time away to others
    • ✦ Not looking after yourself (exercise, meditation, learning) because you’re working too much, cleaning too much, or spending all of your time caring for others before yourself
    • ✦ Feeling irritable or frustrated at others, because deep down you’re frustrated at yourself
    • ✦ Blowing “hot and cold” because you’re getting close to people but then pulling away from them once it gets to be too much

    If you feel that you’re a highly sensitive or empathic person (you acutely feel the emotions of others), then consciously noticing and healing your own boundaries is especially important for you. Our desire to heal and help can cost us our sanity and allow one person to monopolise our energetic resources, instead of distributing them for maximum positive impact in the world. By wanting to help others so badly – without strong boundaries – you can end up hurting yourself.

    Here’s how you can start building strong boundaries…

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    As always, your intuition is your best friend and most reliable guide through this lifetime. If your gut is telling you that a relationship isn’t even-stevens, then it’s probably right. It’s a lot easier to establish boundaries at the outset than it is to try and claw them back later down the line. If you feel like someone new may be opportunistic, then make sure you set clear ground rules from the very beginning.

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    Doing what other people tell you can just feel like being helpful at first, but it can also be a sign of people-pleasing if you make a habit of it. This is a big risk factor with particularly extroverted or dominant personalities in your life. Pleasing someone who cannot be pleased is not a reflection of you, but of them. Sometimes, no matter what you do for someone you’ll never gain their approval, despite meeting all of their demands. It’s not your job to always do what someone asks.

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    History repeats itself, so if the vibe of a relationship feels familiar, then the dynamic will probably replicate what you’ve had before. We also inherit behaviour from the patterns we see around us, so if your mother/father were highly sensitive or chronic people-pleasers then you may have watched their boundaries being crossed all the time as a child. Maybe you even crossed them yourself once or twice! By stepping back and reassessing what you do and don’t want from a relationship, you can steer clear of toxic and draining relationships in the future.

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    Are you finding yourself without time to do the things that you want to do? If so, this can be a sign of boundary thieves operating in your life. Write down a retrospective timetable of your day for a week and total up where you’ve been spending most of your hours. For most people, the biggest proportion will go to work, but even then it may eat up more hours than you’d like. Hopefully, you’ll also be able to identify time saps in your life that you weren’t aware of, such as spending time organising plans for others or waiting for a friend who is always late to meet you.

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    If money seems to slip through your fingers, then it can be due to poor personal money boundaries and/or poor boundaries with other people. If you always find yourself footing the bill for someone, or you’re in a friendship/relationship with someone who never pays you back, then they’re overstepping your boundaries. If you lend someone money, then you should expect it to be returned to you as soon as they’re able. If you are paying for someone more than you’d like, then remove yourself from all future scenarios where you might end up giving them money.

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    If you are struggling to spot your boundary violations but sense that you have some, then asking a trusted friend or family member who knows and respects you can provide some clarity. Other people can see the things that we don’t want to see, so asking for someone else’s honest opinion of where you’re wasting your time/energy/money can confirm what you already suspect to be true. They may have been waiting for you to ask all along! As a bonus, they may also give you tailored advice about how to repair your boundaries in this situation.

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    Empaths can be drawn to damaged people like a moth to a flame. The problem is that this instinct to heal may not only be damaging to you in the long run, but it also may not be as healing for them as you’d hope. If there’s someone in your life with serious issues who could be a potential threat to your boundaries while you care for them, try and find the professional resources that they need instead. Finding the right mental health services, support group or medical professional will prove far more effective both for them and for you.

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    Those two letters are so very freeing. If you find yourself saying yes when inside you’re screaming no, then that’s a definite boundary violation. Saying no feels strange in the beginning and can be tough for others to handle – especially if you’ve been a yes person for a long time. But the power of NO is palpable, and when you read about super successful entrepreneurs, you’ll find that it’s often their favourite word for protecting their valuable time. Whether you’re an entrepreneur or not, your time is just as valuable. So, if you find yourself wanting to say no, then be honest with yourself and the other person by just saying no.

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    As with everything in life, balance is the secret to a sound mind and satisfying relationships. So, with all of this said, it’s important to avoid jumping to the other extreme of setting boundaries that are too rigid and fear-based. If you’re terrified to allow anyone “in” because you’ve been burned in the past then you’ll deprive yourself of emotional connection entirely. Setting healthy boundaries in the ways listed above will prevent you from bringing resentment and tall emotional walls into future relationships.

    The most important boundaries of all are the ones that you set for yourself. Whatever behaviour you permit for yourself and the rules that you live by will signal to others what you’ll accept from them too. You can’t help others until you help yourself first, so the ultimate act of self-love is setting a high standard for what you will accept in your life.

    Your boundaries are not made to be broken.