☂ Relationships ☂

  • Spot The Narcissist As An Empath

    Narcissists can seem charming, generous and entertaining – but they also have a dark side that is jealous, angry, insecure and quick to cut other people down. This means that they always have troubled relationships with their family, friends and co-workers; although this will never be their fault, of course.

    They naturally tune in to where they can get narcissistic supply from: people who are warm, kind, caring and will go above and beyond to help others. They are drawn to healers because they so badly need healing on the inside (usually their inner child) but no amount of help or focus from the other person can do this, because the work is deep for the narcissist and they need to commit to doing it fully with a licensed therapist or mental health professional.

    The narcissist you’re with –

    • Believes they are exceptionally smart, good looking and talented
    • Is always the centre of attention and has a “big” personality
    • Gives lavish gifts
    • Is quick to anger when things don’t go their way
    • Gets jealous of other people
    • Will seek to take down potential threats to their power / control / sense of comfort by insulting the other person and questioning their character, because they hate anything that threatens their ego and how they see themselves
    • Will argue with every point not because it’s factually correct but to destabilise the other person (gaslighting) and try to establish themselves in a position of control where they are seen as “right”, awe-worthy and the smartest / most powerful / most amazing
    • May build a small group of close-knit allies who all adore them
    • May use their sensitivity as a weapon for more love, attention or to bring focus back to them
    • Will do what they can to get adored and noticed
    • Can’t be alone (there is no-one to give them attention or praise when they’re on their own)

    How you will feel as the empath –

    • Drained
    • Like a “yes” person with them, as you compromise more than you should to avoid the drama of having to deal with an emotional reaction
    • Like you have to justify their personality to your family and friends (and downplay their flaws / hide what they’ve said or done)
    • Like you can’t get away from them or get any real time to yourself. They may try to persuade you not to go away with friends and family or use neediness / sensitivity / attention seeking to keep your attention on them
    • Like you’re on eggshells sometimes and have to stop them from getting angry or upset

    If you’re a partner of a suspected narcissist, ask yourself:

    • Could they cope with you being your sassiest, fullest, most honest, authentic self?
    • Or are you afraid to do that for fear of ruffling feathers?
    • Would saying the truth and trying to get YOUR way for a change make too much of a fuss and provoke too much of an emotional response in the other person that it’s just easier not to?

    It is not your responsibility to control or contain anyone else’s emotions and when you catch yourself doing so that is a red flag 🚩

    Narcissism is on a spectrum and they are not soulless, heartless people – but it’s often an adaptive response to inner insecurity and wounding as a child. It can be tempting to feel like with enough love and attention from you, you will be able to heal them and make them feel whole, although this is never the case.

    All adults are responsible for their own inner experience and you revolving your life around being a stable emotional support for the narcissist only distracts them from doing the deep inner work that they really need to do with a therapist in order to heal.

    As a sensitive person, you MUST protect your own energy and be an advocate for your own boundaries. If not, you will find yourself gradually changing your personality as you lose yourself to accommodate the narcissist in your life.

    Stay strong and know that it’s not your responsibility to justify or hide anyone else’s real behaviour.

    You deserve to have balanced, equal, respectful relationships in all areas of your life – and no one else should ever stop you from being your most empowered, authentic self.

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  • The Truth About Twin Flames

    TWIN FLAME is thrown around so much in the spiritual community, but what does it really mean?

    Everyone who I’ve seen declare that they’re with their twin flame has since broken up, and this is not uncommon for twin flames. The others who are in happy long-term relationships are probably misusing the term twin flame when they actually mean soulmate.

    These are very different roles and you probably also have soulmates who are not just romantic partners, but dear friends and members of your family.

    First, we need to understand what a twin flame is, and then it becomes clearer what their role is in our life if we ever meet them.

    A twin flame is thought to be the other half of a soul. This means that a soul would be splitting and entering two bodies, so if the twin flames ever meet, it will be an intense connection where the highs are so high because you feel like you’re the same person.

    However, the lows are also so low because you have the exact same shadows which are repelling each other like the same side of two magnets.

    You’ll find that a soulmate is a loving and fun connection, whereas a twin flame is here to make you wake TF up!

    As the other side of your soul, they are the divine masculine opposite to your divine feminine or vice versa. By romanticizing it, you’re giving it a human experience when really it’s a union that has come together for your spiritual advancement.

    As I wrote in How To Know If You Have A Past Life Connection With Someone, you might find that if you meet a twin flame there’ll be instant recognition and an undeniable sense that you’ve known each other for a very, VERY long time.

    This split soul connection will allow for easy telepathy and you’ll probably have a strong sense of clairempathy when it comes to this person, for example, you can feel what they’re feeling even if they’re in another country.

    Of course, you will be very similar – and in many ways, you’ll probably find that you’re a good match because you’re freakily identical in some aspects. This can feel intoxicating, but being inebriated isn’t always a good thing. Intense relationships are rarely destined to last and the flame between twin souls will often burn out.

    The intensity is a challenge to overcome so that you can stand your ground as an individual, and they’re showing you all of the aspects of yourself in human form that you’re meant to work on in this lifetime.

    Rather than completing you, they’re a reminder of your strength. During your time on this Earth, you’re not meant to cling to and rely on another person – so the challenge being presented is to connect with your own sovereignty and remember your own divinity.

    By breaking your heart they may be activating you so that you realise you’re strong and powerful on your own. Or alternatively, they may reject any advances for a romantic union because it’s distracting you from that, so they may be tricky to get into a relationship at all.

    By helping you to ascend to true enlightenment which is a state of non-attachment, they might avoid attachment with you at all costs. They’ll probably be in your life for only a short time and it’s very unlikely that they’ll be lifelong partners.

    Not everyone has a twin flame so it’s not that common; it’s actually very rare for people to be true twin flames. The people who have them are meant to see them as a human mirror for certain parts of themselves.

    The twin flame is activating latent energies within you which can add to the intensity of the experience and make it incredibly addictive and emotionally intense, because the awakening that they create within you is profound and life altering.

    However they transform you, you can guarantee that after meeting them you’ll be changed in some way. Did they break you? Good. And did they make you turn to a spiritual path that you’ve been on ever since? Their job is done.

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  • How To Know If You Have A Past Life Connection With Someone

    If you believe that we live many times over – in different lifetimes with different bodies – then you probably feel like you’ve met people again in this life who you’ve known before.

    Our soul holds energetic memories from different times and realities, but we experience amnesia when we’re born into a new body. In the same way that we can’t remember things from when we were young children, we also don’t remember things from our past lives. We’re blocked from those memories so that they don’t take our attention away from the path we need to walk and the lessons we need to learn in this lifetime.

    However, many people have still accessed information from their past lives. For example, in my most recent life, I was a 17-year-old Vietnamese soldier in the Vietnam War. I abandoned my troop because they wouldn’t listen to my intuitive knowledge that our plan was going to fail; I ran away on my own, I was right, and they were all killed while I survived.

    After telling this to my friend Rachel Alyce, she said that she’d also been in the Vietnam War in her last life too. Even if you don’t have this kind of evidence and you’ve never had a past life reading, there are multiple ways to know if you’ve had a past life connection with someone.

    If there’s someone in mind that you’re wondering about, see if any of these resonate…


    ⋆☽  You’re instantly drawn to them  ☾⋆


    Have you ever felt so strongly drawn to someone, but you can’t quite put your finger on why?

    This is different from attraction in the usual sense because it’s not usually romantically motivated. There’s just something intriguing and captivating about them that pulls you in. It’s not what happens with every other person that you meet.

    It’s a feeling of deep soul recognition that’s hard to put a name on because of the amnesia I talked about, but there’s a magnetism there; the recognition of this person meaning more to you than the stranger that they are when they first present themselves to you.

    If you have gone through lifetimes with them before, it’s likely that they will have an important role when you meet them again. That’s why you’re drawn towards them – because you’re meant to meet them at this point on your journey.


    ⋆☽  You quickly get back into it  ☾⋆


    Within hours or days, chatting with them just feels like catching up with an old friend. You can skip the niceties and fully show yourself to them far quicker than you would with anyone else.

    The normal period of time that it might take for you to become acquainted with someone dramatically shortens, and you can hop into a closely-knit relationship far quicker than you do with most people you meet.

    It’s almost like you’re stepping back into a relationship with them, rather than starting a new one.


    ⋆☽  There’s a strong sense of familiarity  ☾⋆


    You already know things about them, and you can sense inherent parts of their personality.

    There’s a knowingness between you and a distinct feeling of soul resonance.

    The strongest way to know if you’ve had a past life connection with them is because you feel like you’ve known them before.


    ⋆☽  There may be anger & frustrations far beyond what can be explained in this lifetime  ☾⋆


    As well as feeling like you’ve known them before, you may also feel like there’s an invisible hatchet that can’t be buried for some reason.

    There’s something that either one or both of you won’t let go of, but it can’t necessarily be explained by what’s happened in this lifetime. Maybe your relationship in this life has been quite good but there’s a simmering layer of resentment there, like a grudge which one or both of you can’t let go of.

    This could be caused by a trauma you had together in a past life which was far more dramatic than anything that’s happened this time around, like them stealing your lover or even murdering you!

    When this is the case, you’ve been brought back together in this life to try to resolve that trauma and close the karmic pattern of anger by showing each other forgiveness.


    ⋆☽  Or maybe, you can see synastry in your birth charts  ☾⋆


    If you want to look further into your past life connection with someone, a good astrologer might be able to do this for you.

    It’s often the South Node in your chart/s which is the indicator of a past life connection, however, as with anything astrology related, there is so much more to it. As well as finding out if you’ve had a past life connection together, you might also be able to see what kind of connection it was, such as teacher-student, friendship, or parent-child.

    If you’ve just met someone and immediately you want to see their birth chart for this reason, there’s no doubt about it: you have a past life connection!

    ☽ ☆ ☾

    As with everything, the most important tool that you have for discerning whether someone featured in one of your old lives is your intuition. You can feel that sense of connection and how it surpasses all of the other people you meet on a daily basis.

    If you want to look into this further, you can go for astrology synastry and past life readings, but these are obviously coming from other people – and YOU are the person who was in the relationship before.

    So, ask yourself: how do they make you feel?

    What seems different about the relationship you have?

    And is there a deeper layer of connection there that can’t be explained in this lifetime?

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  • Why Some People Won’t Have A Spiritual Awakening

    Isn’t it annoying when our friends and family won’t awaken with us?

    From conversations with my clients and spiritual friends, this is the worst part about going through an awakening: the loneliness.

    Feeling like you’re weird and strange.

    Not being able to connect with people in your life in the same way that you did before.

    This is only going to make us wish they could come along for the ride with us, especially as we unwrap our gifts, connect with the Universe, and realise the full power we have to create our own reality.

    “Why can’t they see this too?”

    Well, maybe they’re not meant to right now…

    We all have different times for our awakening to start unfolding, and they’re all as Divine as each other. I believe that there are reasons why some people won’t spiritually awaken in this lifetime, and I’m going to share these with you.

    Hopefully, they’ll help you to see that it’s perfect; it’s Divine; it’s necessary for some people not to awaken. The only thing we can do in this situation is not to control them – but to work on our own acceptance of the new situation we find ourselves in.

    It’s not our job to try and “fix” someone who we hope will awaken. It’s not for us to decide when their time is. They have to find the light when they’re ready to turn it on.

    Here’s why it might not happen in this lifetime.


    ⋆☽ They don’t want to… ☾⋆


    A lot of people might have the potential to awaken, but they have so much resistance.

    Often this is an energetic issue where their crown chakra is closed, or so blocked by judgement that they lack a tangible connection to the Divine. When they lack that connection, they don’t feel as though they have any physical proof that anything else exists apart from our 1) physical bodies, 2) life and 3) death.

    These people need evidence, and as spiritual people we already get a lot of that through signs, synchronicities, manifestations, card readings, etc.

    But for someone who has never experienced any of that – or has never noticed any of that – it could be very hard to believe that there’s some truth in spirituality.

    They also might not want to awaken because of past life trauma…

    Who else here feels like they were a witch in a past life?

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    I strongly feel this way, and I actually believe that me, my mother and my sister were all witches together in lifetimes before. With these “witch wounds” comes a huge amount of fear about sharing our psychic gifts and being open about our spirituality.

    We have so much fear of being persecuted because we literally were! And even today, we probably still will be by a lot of people.

    These past life traumas were so intense that they still threaten our sense of security today. For some people, it’ll be so bad that they won’t risk awakening in this lifetime.

    If they don’t feel safe and the fears are too strong, they won’t be in a state of allowing and believing in the magic of the Universe.


    ⋆☽ They’re not ready… ☾⋆


    Other people will awaken in this lifetime, but just… not yet.

    It’s for no-one to say when they’ll awaken, as that’s up to their soul and the big-U for when their awakening is due. It’s written into their life plan somewhere, but we just can’t see when it will be.

    Some people awaken from a sudden, tragic life event. Some people awaken through the people they meet and the places they end up. Some people awaken through a magical metaphysical experience.

    You just have to be patient with these people.

    You may not even still know them when they awaken, but if you do, you’ll be the first person they come to for advice. You can be their support because you know what it’s like to awaken and feel alone.

    Awakenings can’t be forced and it’s not for us to decide when someone else’s is going to happen.


    ⋆☽ Their path is to help others awaken… ☾⋆


    … without awakening themselves.

    This is the heaviest one because, as I said before, some people awaken through tragic and sudden life events. For me, I don’t think I’d be in spirituality if I hadn’t moved in with my alcoholic stepfather at age 13.

    However, if his soul hadn’t made that sacrifice then I probably wouldn’t be here now making it my life’s work to teach about spirituality and help many others through their awakening (and then helping them to set up spiritual businesses which will help many others through their spiritual awakenings).

    I also think this about psychopathic killers and people we see as “evil” who have a huge impact on the world. We only see and talk about the negative impact, but the positive impact which comes afterwards isn’t publicised.

    Through every tragic event there are people who find each other, set up new charities and businesses, and make it their life’s mission to stop the same thing happening again. Some souls make sacrifices to help get others on their right path.

    There is good in every situation and it’s these souls who help us to see it through the contrast they provide.

    It’s like a soul sacrifice that they made when they came here to Earth, and even if they don’t awaken – and seem like they’re so far from ever awakening and having empathy – their soul still contributes to the network of awakened souls that is illuminating the globe.

    ☽ ☆ ☾

    Our job isn’t to make unwilling people awaken – it’s to help the ones who are.

    In the spiritual community, we can reach out and help others rise up who are discovering the secrets of the Universe for the first time and feeling isolated by their new gifts and realisations.

    It is not our job to force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do. That would only push people further away and would be coming from a place of our own scarcity.

    By shining brightly and being our best spiritual selves, we will gradually inspire others to do the same.

    When someone won’t awaken, the best thing we can do is to live our lives as an example.

    Their time will come when they are ready.

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